Developing Essential Soft Skills for Engineers and Leaders

What are the essential soft skills in engineering, and how can they be developed?

When I look at my LinkedIn feed, I notice many posts discussing the importance of soft skills versus hard skills for engineers, especially for Engineering Managers.

I have probably written some myself.

However, these posts often tend to be very generic and usually overlook one crucial aspect: how to develop these skills. In fact, many people believe that soft skills are somehow innate and cannot be learned, but based on my experience, I can easily say that this is not the case.

That's why in today's article, we will delve deeper into soft skills and, in particular, we will cover these points:

• 🥊 Hard Skills vs Soft Skills: their definitions and the differences between the two.

• 🥎 Main Soft Skills: we’ll explore the top soft skills and how to develop them.

• ⚖️ How to Balance Soft Skills: we’ll discuss which soft skills to prioritize based on your career path.

As you can see, we have much to cover, so let’s get started!

🥊 Hard Skills vs Soft Skills

Let's begin by defining what hard skills and soft skills are:

• 🪚 Hard Skills: the specific knowledge and abilities required to perform a job. This category could include skills like proficiency in a certain programming language, understanding system architectures, or a degree or certification in a specific field.

• 🛏️ Soft Skills: personal traits and behaviors that help you work well with others and adapt to changes. They include how well you communicate, work in a team, solve problems, and manage your time.

In this newsletter, I have already mentioned that in recent years, we’ve transitioned from a “low-level era”, where those who understood technology were seen as untouchable gurus, to a “high-level era”, where technology has become mainstream and what truly makes a difference are people.

If we examine this in terms of skills:

• ⬇ low-level era → hard skills were privileged

• ⬆ high-level era → soft skills are privileged

This is to say that soft skills are no longer a nice-to-have for engineers; they are a requirement for every engineer, especially now with the advent of AI.

You might be tempted to think that soft skills are only needed at the leadership level, but that’s not the case. What varies between roles is simply the balance between hard and soft skills, as we will discuss later.

Difference Between Hard and Soft Skills

Many believe the main difference is that soft skills are related to personality and can’t always be learned, while hard skills are often acquired through formal education or specific training.

This is simply a misconception.

Soft skills, like hard skills, can be learned, studied, and taught. What is probably true is that soft skills are usually more intangible, making acquiring them more challenging.

Just to give you an example:

• If you want to learn Python (a hard skill), you take a course or read a book. With some commitment, you can easily learn it and put it into practice by creating a simple app that could work.

• If you want to learn communication (a soft skill), courses, books, and teachers are still available, but having direct feedback to perceive your progress will be much harder.

But this shouldn’t stop you from learning and trying.

🥎 Main Soft Skills for Engineers and Managers

The realm of soft skills is immense, and it would be impossible to list and discuss all of them. For this reason, I’m only going to consider the ones that are fundamental to the engineering world.

The importance of these can vary based on you, your company, their culture, and many other aspects, but I believe the following list covers the most important ones, which I also look for during my interviews.

For your convenience, I divided them into five categories:

• 🧠 Personal Skills

• 🤝 Interpersonal Skills

• 🗣️ Communication Skills

• 🗂️ Organizational Skills

• 👑 Leadership Skills

Let’s now go through all of these, and for each one, understand how they can be useful and how they can be trained. I will also rank based on what I value most when seeking engineers or EMs.

🧠 Personal Skills

Personal skills include a range of capabilities that relate to one's ability to manage themselves and navigate daily life's personal and professional challenges. These skills are foundational for personal development, successful relationships, career progression, and overall well-being.

→ Self-Awareness (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: understanding one's own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, and drivers. It involves recognizing how one's actions affect others and the ability to learn from experiences.

• 🛠️ Useful For: personal growth, career development, leadership, and team dynamics.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Practice mindfulness and meditation

  • Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings

  • Seek feedback from friends, family, and colleagues

• 📕 One Book: Insight by Tasha Eurich

→ Self-Motivation (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️★)

• 📝 Description: the drive to pursue goals or tasks without external encouragement. It involves setting personal goals, finding internal incentives, and maintaining enthusiasm and effort toward achieving personal and professional objectives.

• 🛠️ Useful For: achieving goals, personal development, overcoming procrastination, and maintaining productivity.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Set clear, achievable goals

  • Celebrate small victories

  • Find inspiration and learning in every task

• 📕 One Book: Drive by Daniel H. Pink

→ Resilience (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️★)

• 📝 Description: the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. It involves adapting to change, overcoming obstacles, and returning from setbacks.

• 🛠️ Useful For: stress management, personal and professional growth, and maintaining mental health.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Develop a positive mindset

  • Build a strong support network

  • Learn from failures and setbacks

• 📕 One Book: Resilient by Rick Hanson

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🤝 Interpersonal Skills

Interpersonal skills are essential for building and maintaining strong, positive relationships both in personal and professional contexts. They enable individuals to interact effectively with others, manage conflicts, and influence outcomes positively.

→ Empathy/Compassion (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: the ability to understand and share another person's feelings. It includes showing genuine concern for others' well-being and acting with kindness.

• 🛠️ Useful For: building relationships, teamwork, customer service, leadership, and conflict resolution.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Practice active listening

  • Try to view situations from others' perspectives

  • Volunteer for causes that help you connect with diverse groups of people

• 📕 One Book: The Art of Empathy by Karla McLaren

→ Negotiation (⭐️⭐️⭐️★★)

• 📝 Description: reaching a mutual agreement through dialogue and compromise. It involves effective communication, understanding different perspectives, and finding an acceptable solution for all parties involved.

• 🛠️ Useful For: technical agreements, resolving disputes, salary discussions, and any situation where reaching common ground is essential.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Practice active listening

  • Develop empathy to understand other's viewpoints

  • Study negotiation techniques and strategies

• 📕 One Book: Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury

→ Conflict Resolution (⭐️⭐️⭐️★★)

• 📝 Description: the ability to manage and resolve disagreements or disputes constructively. It involves identifying the underlying issues, facilitating open communication, and working towards a mutually beneficial solution.

• 🛠️ Useful For: workplace dynamics, relationships with other team members, community interactions, and any scenario where differing opinions may lead to conflict.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Learn and practice active listening skills

  • Adopt a problem-solving attitude

  • Seek to understand before being understood

• 📕 One Book: Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen

→ Influence (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: the capacity to affect other people's character, development, or behavior. It involves understanding others, building trust, and communicating in a way that persuades or inspires.

• 🛠️ Useful For: leadership roles, team management, and any situation where you aim to shape outcomes or inspire change.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Build credibility and trust

  • Understand and appeal to others' interests

  • Practice storytelling and emotional intelligence

• 📕 One Book: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini

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🗣️ Communication Skills

Communication skills include effectively conveying and receiving messages in various forms, including verbal, non-verbal, written, and visual. These skills facilitate sharing information and ideas, enable clear understanding, and foster effective collaboration among individuals and teams.

→ Verbal Communication (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: expressing ideas clearly and effectively through spoken words.

• 🛠️ Useful For: team meetings, negotiations, presentations, and everyday workplace interactions.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Volunteer for presentations at work

  • Record short videos (like Looms) of you speaking and watch them

  • Ask your peers for feedback about your communication

• 📕 One Book: Talk like Ted by Carmine Gallo

→ Written Communication (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: conveying messages or information effectively through writing.

• 🛠️ Useful For: emails, chats, technical documentation, reports, proposals, and interactions between remote teams.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Take writing courses

  • Start writing publicly

  • Practice concise writing

• 📕 One Book: Writing for Busy Readers

→ Non-Verbal Communication (⭐️⭐️⭐️★★)

• 📝 Description: using body language, facial expressions, and gestures to communicate without words.

• 🛠️ Useful For: enhancing personal and professional interactions and improving public speaking and presentation skills.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Observe and mimic the body language of effective communicators

  • Record and review your non-verbal communication in different settings

  • Take acting or improvisation classes to improve your expressive abilities

• 📕 One Book: The Definitive Book of Body Language

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🗂️ Organizational Skills

Organizational skills are crucial for managing tasks, time, and resources efficiently. They help individuals and teams plan, prioritize, and effectively execute work, ensuring productivity and achieving goals.

→ Time Management (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively, especially at work. It involves planning, prioritizing tasks, and allocating time wisely to activities that align with goals.

• 🛠️ Useful For: meeting deadlines, reducing stress, increasing productivity, and achieving a better work-life balance.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Use planners or digital tools to schedule tasks

  • Set clear priorities and deadlines

  • Avoid multitasking and minimize distractions

• 📕 One Book: Getting Things Done by David Allen

→ Decision Making (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️★)

• 📝 Description: the process of making choices by identifying a decision, gathering information, and assessing alternative resolutions. It requires critical thinking and the ability to forecast outcomes.

• 🛠️ Useful For: leadership, project management, and any scenario requiring a choice between multiple options.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Gather as much information as possible

  • Consider all possible outcomes and impacts

  • Develop a systematic approach to evaluating options

• 📕 One Book: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

→ Adaptability (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: the ability to adjust to new conditions quickly and efficiently. It involves embracing change, learning new skills, and remaining flexible in uncertainty.

• 🛠️ Useful For: career development, project management, dealing with unexpected situations, and thriving in dynamic environments.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Embrace a growth mindset

  • Stay curious and seek out new experiences

  • Practice resilience and stress management

• 📕 One Book: Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson

→ Problem-Solving (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: the ability to identify complex problems and review related information to develop and evaluate options and implement solutions. It involves analytical thinking, creativity, and perseverance.

• 🛠️ Useful For: innovation, project management, technical troubleshooting, and daily professional life challenges.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Practice structured problem-solving methods

  • Develop your analytical and critical thinking skills

  • Collaborate with others to gain different perspectives

• 📕 One Book: The 5 Elements of Effective Thinking by Edward B. Burger and Michael Starbird

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👑 Leadership Skills

Leadership skills are crucial for guiding teams, influencing outcomes, and driving positive changes within organizations. These skills enable individuals to inspire and motivate others, navigate complex challenges, and make strategic decisions.

→ Leadership (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: the ability to inspire and guide individuals or teams towards achieving a common goal. It involves setting a vision, motivating others, and creating a supportive environment for team growth and success.

• 🛠️ Useful For: managing teams, driving projects, inspiring change, and fostering a positive organizational culture.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Develop emotional intelligence

  • Practice effective communication

  • Lead by example and foster teamwork

• 📕 One Book: Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek

→ Change Management (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️★)

• 📝 Description: the ability to effectively manage and adapt to organizational changes. It involves understanding the impact of change, communicating effectively, and guiding others through transitions.

• 🛠️ Useful For: implementing new processes, adapting to market changes, undergoing organizational restructuring, and managing team dynamics during change.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Learn about change management models

  • Develop strong communication strategies

  • Engage and support team members through changes

• 📕 One Book: Leading Change by John P. Kotter

→ Strategic Planning (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)

• 📝 Description: the process of defining a strategy or direction, and making decisions on allocating resources to pursue this strategy. It involves setting long-term goals, analyzing competitive environments, and implementing plans to achieve desired outcomes.

• 🛠️ Useful For: setting organizational goals, long-term business planning, resource allocation, and navigating competitive markets.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Engage in strategic thinking exercises and scenario planning

  • Stay updated with the latest industry trends and forecasts

  • Develop your ability to think critically and challenge existing assumptions

• 📕 One Book: Good Strategy Bad Strategy by Richard Rumelt

→ Mentoring (⭐️⭐️⭐️★★)

• 📝 Description: the process of guiding and supporting less experienced individuals or mentees, sharing knowledge, skills, and insights to help them grow professionally and personally.

• 🛠️ Useful For: leadership development, employee engagement, fostering talent within organizations, and personal growth of both mentors and mentees.

• 📚 How to Improve

  • Be a good listener

  • Share experiences and lessons learned

  • Encourage and challenge your mentee

• 📕 One Book: Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

⚖️ Find the Right Balance

Developing and leveraging all these soft skills can take a lifetime.

So, where should you focus?

From my perspective, communication is something you should always prioritize, in any role, at any level. You may lack other soft skills, but if you can communicate well, you have a greater chance of succeeding in your career.

As for the other categories, though, you might want to prioritize your training based on your career path.

• Individual Contributor: in the individual contributor role, it’s important to be resilient and self-motivated, but also to be a good team player. Therefore, personal and interpersonal skills are probably the most important.

• Tech Lead: in this role, along with personal and interpersonal skills, since you will have to lead technical projects, it’s crucial to focus on organizational skills.

• Engineering Manager: a good EM should be able to balance all four categories, but organizational and leadership skills become more important.

• Engineering Leader: as an engineering leader, both leadership and interpersonal skills become crucial.

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✌️ That’s all folks

That's all for today! As always, I would love to hear from my readers (and if you've made it this far, you're one of the bravest). Please don't hesitate to connect with me on LinkedIn or Twitter and send a message. I always respond to every one!